Wondering why so many Au pairs go into rematch? Check out this post for the top 10 reasons why Au pairs rematch.
As someone who is about to be an Au pair, I’ve read loads of horror stories from dozens of Au pairs who ended up re-matching. In fact, prior to doing my own research, I used to think Au pairs rematched because of small disagreements or conflict.
But… it’s so much more than that!
Every reason I’ve seen as to why an Au pair rematched was always valid and true. It’s either the host family wasn’t what he or she imagined they’d be or the agreement made was not honored. Either way, any issue within those bounds definitely qualifies for a rematch.
So, if you’re an Au pair living with a host family right now, you’ve come to the right place! This post highlights the top 10 reasons why Au pairs rematch and what exactly you should be looking out for if you’re unsure about your case.
Au Pair in Germany Series
P.S. This is a post in my Au Pair in Germany series. Here is the complete series:
Au Pair Origin and History: What is an Au Pair: The Origin and History
Au Pair Tasks: What Does an Au Pair Do: Au Pair Tasks
Au Pair Agencies: The 7 Best Au Pair Agencies for Americans
German Language Learning Apps: The 10 Best Apps for German Learning as an Au Pair
Au Pair Guide: How to Become an Au Pair in Germany
Au Pair Visa: Au Pair Visa Germany: Requirements for Americans
Au Pair vs. Nanny: Au Pair vs. Nanny: What is the Difference?
Au Pair Salary: German Au Pair Salary: What to Expect
Au Pair Rematch: The Top 10 Reasons Why Au Pairs Rematch
Au Pair Driving: The Au Pair Guide to Driving in Germany
German A1 Exam: How To Pass Your German A1 Test To Become An Au Pair
Host Family Interview: Here Are 100 Host Family Interview Questions You Need To Ask
Host Family Red Flags: 10 Host Family Red Flags You Should Watch Out For
Packing List: Au Pair Packing List: Germany Edition
BFD: BFD in Germany: What Americans Need To Know
FSJ: How to Do an FSJ in Germany
Ausbildung: Ausbildung in Germany: Here’s Everything You Need to Know
Au Pairs Rematch Because They’re Being Abused
One reason why Au pairs rematch is because they’re being abused by their host family. And when I mean abused, I’m talking about all kinds of abuse like financial abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse and even sexual abuse. For instance, I remember reading a story on Reddit about an Au pair in Germany who was experiencing some kind of psychological abuse from her host parents. She had a 1-year-old as her host kid at the time and she mentioned that it was difficult for her to take care of him throughout the day due to lack of free time and long work hours. However, instead of validating her when she discussed it with her host parents; they instead gaslit her by saying “your job is so easy, I wish I had your job”.
Now, that’s really messed up!
Not only, did that make the Au pair question her feelings but it also made her contemplate whether she should stay, hence the desire for a rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Because They’re Working Long Hours
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is because they’re working long hours. And when I mean long hours, I’m talking about over the legal limit. For example, in Germany, Au pairs are not allowed to work more than 6 hours a day unless something was agreed upon between the Au pair and the host family. Well unfortunately, not every host family abides by the law. In fact, I remember reading a post an Au pair made on Reddit because her host family made her work 10 hours a day in Germany. She said it was because her host parents worked long hours but that is no excuse for breaking the law. After six hours, her host parents should have relieved the childcare duty to a relative or a family friend but because that did not happen, this led to a rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Because Their Host Kids Don’t Like Them
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is because their host kids don’t like them. And when I say they don’t like them I’m not just talking about them being shy during the transition period. I’m talking about host kids deliberately being disrespectful to the Au pair by saying things like “[Au pair name] stand over there” or being repeatedly hit or kicked when you set boundaries. At the end of the day, forming a bond with your host kid as an Au pair should be a two-way street. Therefore, if the host kid is making things difficult for the Au pair during his or her stay, this definitely qualifies for a rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Because The Host Family Lied
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is because the host family lied to them after they arrived. And when I mean lied I’m not talking about a “white lie” (these are not ok either) where they lied about liking the color red, I’m talking about huge lies that have a huge effect on the Au pair’s experience. For example, I remember reading a post on Reddit where an Au pair said that her host family lied to her about their child having special needs. So, not only was she not able to give the child the proper childcare suited for his needs but she also had no experience working with children with his kind of disability. In addition to that, no relationship no matter what kind should ever start out with a lie. Anyone who’s been in a healthy relationship knows that trust is the foundation for any relationship to work. Therefore, if the host family is lacking in regard to integrity then it leaves the Au pair with no choice but to rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Because They Are Being Treated Like A Maid
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is because they’re given heavy household tasks to do. And when I mean “heavy” I’m not talking about unloading the dishwasher, or setting the table; I’m talking about vacuuming all the rooms, doing everyone’s laundry, cleaning the bathtub and etc. These heavy household tasks specifically should be assigned to someone who is a cleaner or a maid, not an Au pair. In fact, I remember reading one Au pair’s post on Reddit where she stated that her host family had the audacity to get mad at her because she wasn’t cleaning enough.
Hahaha like are you serious??
If the Au pair is not going to be treated like an Au pair, then it leaves the Au pair with no choice but to rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Because They Are Being Harassed
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is because they’re being harassed in the home. And when I mean harassed I’m not talking about playful teasing; I’m talking about being sexually harassed by a host parent who is supposed to make you feel safe in their home. For example, if your host father is making sexual advances towards you or touching you in sexually suggestive ways, that is NOT OK! In fact, I remember reading a post on Reddit where an Au pair said she was being sexually harassed by her host father and when she told her agency about it they said “It’s harassment, not assault, so it hasn’t broken laws (yet).”
What??? I don’t care what the law says…
If anyone in the home is sexually harassing the Au pair, he or she has every right to leave without any prior notice and rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Due To Lack Of Privacy
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is due to a lack of privacy in the home. And when I mean a lack of privacy I’m not talking about common spaces or a family bathroom; I’m talking about coming into the Au pair’s room whenever you want when she’s not home or barging into her room without knocking when she’s in the home. All of these things are a clear sign that the host family lacks boundaries. And as an Au pair, this is not something you can fix or expect to change, hence the reason for a rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Because They’re Not Being Paid On Time If At All
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is because they’re not being paid on time if at all. And when I mean not being paid on time I’m not talking about that one time occurrence where they had a good reason for it; I’m talking about a reoccurring pattern where they consistently pay the Au pair late over and over. In fact, I remember reading a post on Reddit where an Au pair stated that her host family actually paid her at the end of the month instead of in advance.
WHAT?? That is such a long time to wait especially when that pocket money is something you’re expected to rely on in a foreign country. This deprives the Au pair financially, hence the reason for a rematch.
Au Pairs Rematch Because They’re Being Treated Like A Cook
Another reason why Au pairs rematch is because they’re being treated like a cook in the home. And when I mean a cook, I’m not talking about making simple breakfasts or lunches for the host children; I’m talking about host families that make Au pairs cook for the entire family everyday because they’re too lazy to do it themselves. Now don’t get me wrong, if the Au pair has a cultural dish they would like to share with their host family then there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem however lies in treating the Au pair like a live-in chef when that has nothing to do with their role. This makes the Au pair feel taken advantage of, hence the reason for a rematch.
Au Pair Rematch Because They’re Being Neglected
Lastly, another reason why Au pairs rematch is because they’re being neglected. And when I mean neglected I’m not talking about leaving the Au pair home alone by herself; I’m talking about failing to provide proper food and shelter for the Au pair during their exchange. In fact, I was in shock when I read a story on Reddit about an Au pair who said her host family complains about providing food for her everyday. I mean… she’s a human being, is she not supposed to eat? In addition, I even read another story where an Au pair said that her host family kept her room in the coldest part of the house so she freezed periodically. I mean why even bother taking in an Au pair if you can’t even meet those basic needs. This alone would make any Au pair want to rematch since having proper food and shelter in the home is a basic Au pair right.
Overall, I really hope you enjoyed reading this post about the top 10 reasons why Au pairs rematch. Please let me know in the comments down below which reason resonated with you the most. I would love to hear from you! 🙂
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